In Defense Of Simpson, Jessica, That Is!

Friday morning, while driving my husband to the airport, I heard something that had me tilting my head and saying...Huh? The morning DJ's topic of conversation was Jessica Simpson and her baby. Innocuous enough, except that she was catching heat for what the baby was wearing on Katie Couric's new show.

So here's the deal. I'm not a big fan of Jessica Simpson. Her dumb blond act (and I do mean act) got a little wearing with me. She was smart enough to parlay it into a lot of money...but still, it irks me when women deliberately hide their intelligence behind the airhead facade. And then there's the fact that I'm a Cowboy fan. No, I don't think she was responsible for distracting Romo or causing the team to lose. But I do know that she wasn't right for our quarterback.

Back to my point... This DJ was calling Jessica Simpson out because her 4 month old baby was dressed too provocatively in the pictures that were shared. The baby was wearing a cute yellow macrame bikini. The DJ went on to say that her little darling (and she is a cutie) was posed provocatively. I was scratching my head. Why would someone be looking at a baby picture and thinking in those terms? How many of us have parents who took naked baby pictures of us? How creepy would it have been if someone saw them and thought, "ooh, sexy!" I saw the baby picture. I even linked it in. Personally, I saw absolutely nothing wrong with it. She was clothed. She wasn't posing provocatively...she was kicking her legs as babies are prone to do.

Then something wierder was said. The person kicking up the most dust about this was a male child protection advocate. Now call me a cynic, but all I could think of was that for a guy who is allowed around children to look at one little picture and call down wrath like that...well, something may be off about his moral compass. It wouldn't exactly be the first time a perv managed to get his/her self placed around children to feed their sick perversions. You hear about it more and more often, unfortunately.

A caller phoned in. She said she had issues with it and that kids shouldn't start dressing this way until they were in their 10-13 age range. Now, I don't know about you guys, but I know this. A baby in a bikini, no big deal. But a tween and early teenager...that's gonna draw a heck of a lot more attention. A baby or toddler in a bikini doesn't phase me. But watching these little girls dressing up like adult women...just as they're starting to develop...no thanks. Better to stay a child for as long as you can. And unfortunately, at that age, kids are getting to know themselves and their bodies. That's when they become sexualized and objectified.

I do have issues with toddlers in tiaras...make up at that age. That kind of emphasis being put on appearances so early. They're going to run into those things as they get older anyway. Why make a child think that they're not much better than the face they show the world. No need to cake on the make up. And parents... be parents. Be grown ups. Teach your kids the value of intelligence and kindness. The nasty cattiness is all over the place...and people wonder how bullies happen. Bah!
You know, the funny thing is...I was so irritated by this radio show that I felt the need to write about it. What's worse? I hate people who create controversy for controversy's sake...and yet what did I do? I let them have the forum in my brain. And I shared it with you. Maybe now that I've gotten on my soapbox and shared I'll be able to let it go.

Kids are our biggest gift to the world. Our greatest legacy. It drives me crazy when I see people try to tarnish that.

Rediscovery

I'm so lucky to have the kind of sister I have.  She's one of my best friends.  It wasn't alway that way in our lives, but the older we get, the closer we get.  Thank GOD!  She is often what saves my sanity when things get a little wild around me.

Above is just one of the many examples of the ways she shows her love.  I used to love to write.  I wrote all the time and everywhere.  Rarely would you find me without my journal book.  One year, while I was still in high school, I learned that my cousin was getting married.  I wanted to do something personal and unique for them.  So I wrote a poem.  After that, I hired a caligrapher to put the poem on parchment paper, I bought a lovely frame, and gave it to them as a gift.  The whole family loved the poem so much it became a tradition.  A cousin got married, I put that same poem in a frame and gave it as a gift. 

It had been years since I'd given it away, or even really thought about it.  But my sister, wily maid-of-honor that she was, remembered that poem.  And when Kirk and I got married, she took that poem and did me one better.  She found a place that would create a beautiful unity candle in our wedding colors...and got them to personalize the candle by taking my poem and putting it in the center of the candle. 

The above is a picture of the candle.  And if you can't read the poem, I'll write it below.

Marriage Wish

The beauty of the ocean waves

Crashing to the shore

The beauty of an eagle

As it spreads it's wings to soar

The beauty of a mountain

Reaching for the sky

Will never have the beauty

Of a love that never dies.

The beauty of a friendship

That lasts throughout the years,

The beauty in warm hugs

To dry away tears,

The beauty of a love

That will always be true

Is the beautiful marriage

I wish for both of you.

More recently I lost my job and was feeling at a loss.  My sister calmly told me, I've always thought you should be a writer.  Maybe the next Amanda Bradley.  If you're a Hallmark card fan, you know that Amanda Bradley poetry used to be in some of their best, most heartfelt cards.  I was floored that she felt this way.  She told me that she didn't care what I wrote, but that she'd always known, the same way music was in her soul, writing was in mine. 

She laughed and said that she knew I had a passion for music...couldn't live without it, just like her.  But where she had the drive and dedication to practice songs over and over till they were perfection, she knew that would take some of the joy of music away from me.  I loved it, but wasn't dedicated to it.  Not the way I was to my writing. 

And then she pushed me.  Without my knowledge she signed me up for a membership to the Florida Writer's Association.  I almost deleted the email that let me know I'd joined as I didn't recognize the sender.  Something made me stop and look.  For the first time in a long time I felt that stirring of desire.  I was excited and filled with ideas. 

She was right.  It's time to write.  I grabbed one of my old journal books that was sitting in the closet collecting dust and began.  I thought it was extremely fitting that I wrote my first poem in years while sitting on her patio, enjoying the view of the Chicago skyline, while on a mini-vacation to visit her.

I've also found myself singing again.  It's nothing fancy, just singing with the choir at church, but it's a step to reclaiming my lost passions.  I'm going to be singing a solo within the next few weeks!  I can't believe it.  How did I let my life get so far away from me that I lost the core of who I am?  Never again.  Life is too short to give up what makes you happy for people and companies that probably don't recognize it or appreciate your sacrifices anyway. 

If I have a momentary twinge of regret for all the things I missed...it's natural.  But I have a choice.  I can wallow and feel sorry for myself or I can learn something and move forward.  I choose the latter.  I choose to be happy and live my life to the fullest.  

Actions Speak Loudest

Life's challenges hit me pretty hard when I was fired from a job I loved and sacrificed for after nine years of service. There were a lot of contributing factors to losing my job. The one that sticks the hardest was the part of my "performance" that included store morale. There was a young lady who worked for me. She was not only someone I hired and promoted, but someone who I worked diligently with to help save her job when she found herself on the verge of losing it based on her sales results. A few years back her father died. I tried to be supportive and understanding, but when she came back something had changed at her core. She became this nasty, negative person. She blamed everyone else for all of her failures and shortcomings. She called Human Resources for any slights against her...real or imagined...and she did it regularly without a courtesy conversation with myself or my assistants. This was the biggest contributor to "store morale". So yesterday, after making me breakfast, then taking me to an early afternoon showing of Brave 3D we stopped by my former place of employment to drop off my company phones and tablet. Ironically enough, she was working. The moment she caught sight of me she ran and hid in the back office. We were there for nearly 30 minutes and she didn't make an appearance once. I was gratified by everyone else who came out to say hello and give me hugs...and I'd be lying if I didn't say that her running and hiding didn't somewhat amuse me. Her behavior told me everything I needed to know about her guilt at her behavior. I acted with integrity and had nothing to hide. Even though the whole situation did not end well, I could hold my head up high and look the world in the eye. She could not say the same.

New Beginnings

I was fired for the first time in my life this week. It happened on the 4th of July. I know I should be upset, but oddly, I find myself reflective instead. The hardest part for me was saying goodbye to the people who have been such a big part of my life for years. As I walked out the door, I took the time to say a personal goodbye to all the people who have worked so hard for me. It was gratifying to know that I had made a difference to many of them. I left surrounded by their hugs, tears and best wishes. Now it's time to look toward the future. I will take a little time to figure out what I want for myself, and this time I am determined to make sure that I have a work/life balance. Last time my life was sacrificed on the altar of my career... This time I will be looking for something that will allow me to spend time with the people I love, not running from crisis to crisis sacrificing my family time and personal health along the way. I guess what I am trying to say is that God works in mysterious ways, and I think this was his way of telling me he has better things in mind for me and that it is time to let go.

Just Another April Fool

To say this week has been trying is a huge understatement. I thank God daily for being there for me; giving me balance, helping me find my footing. It's not been easy. First, earlier this week, the person who sexually abused me as a child friend requested me on Facebook. Seriously? What is wrong with people? What could he have possibly been thinking? Because I didn't file charges almost 30 years ago that everything is just bygones? Not even in the realm of possibility. So I ignored his friend request and then logged into my Facebook to block any and all people with that name from being able to see my page. Then there was April Fools Day. Ever have something happen and wish it were a joke, but know it isn't? Something that brings up all the most sensitive of your emotions that you work so hard to move past...maybe even think you already have? Well, that came crashing down on me. My dad RSVP'd yes for my sister's wedding. In and of itself, that's not a very big deal. But when you consider that several years ago he told me that she was always his favorite because she always seemed happy to see him and that she seemed to need him and add that he didn't come to mine? It's a bit of a slap in the face. I'd let go of most of my anger years ago, not for his sake, but for mine. Life is too short to be angry and bitter. And I'd moved on with my life. And then something like this brings everything up to the surface again. I wasn't angry when he didn't make my wedding. In fact, I expected it. He's missed pretty much every important event in my life. He missed his own son's funeral. Why should I expect to be any different? So when he made his excuse as to why he couldn't come, I was ok. In fact, I was a bit relieved. Less stress and drama for my mother. But then he RSVP's for Chris's. And Chris doesn't really want him there either...didn't expect him to say yes. Does he not understand that for him to not show up at my wedding and then to come to hers is just not right? Not only is it not right, but it's hurtful! And now my sister is left to worry about my mom and how she's going to take the whole thing. And me, I get to continue to remember that my dad just doesn't love me enough. Never have, never will. And you know? I know it's his loss. But the part that never ceases to amaze me is how he doesn't see how anything is his fault. He makes excuses. He missed my wedding because he was waiting to hear back about a job he didn't get. When he found out, he was upset and blamed the company he'd applied for the job from for making him miss the wedding. He has absolutely no concept of the fact that he made a choice and that the consequences were based on his choice. Some things never change. I don't know why it hurt so much this time. Thanks to this song by Jimmy Wayne for reminding me that there are more important things in life...and that even if my bio dad isn't there for me, my Father will be.

An Weak Excuse For Womanhood

Between my sister getting engaged, prepping for my grandfather's memorial service, craziness at work and life in general....this incident was brought to my attention and I was livid! I couldn't keep quiet. If people follow my blog they know that I'm a big Dancing With The Stars and sports fan. This season I've come to truly appreciate the strength and talent of Erin Andrews. She's been vivacious, talented and fun to watch. Then someone like Elizabeth Hasselbeck has to open her mouth...and this kind of garbage spews forth: http://http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/05/05/2010-05-05_elisabeth_hasselbeck_slams_erin_andrews_for_dressing_inappropriately_on_dancing_.html

What really bothers me about this whole thing? She's a woman and a mother. How can she even make a comment that condones the victimization of another woman? For someone who's "so intelligent" regardless of how conservative she is, I'd expect her to have a sense of awareness. Erin was using Dancing With The Stars to gain a sense of empowerment and regain the control that her stalker stole from her. And another woman, of all people, is going to make snide comments that take that away?

The only reason I can think of that she would say this besides jealousy is because she's led a charmed life. She's never been made to feel unsafe. She's never had her sense of choice taken away from her. She's lucky. She's blessed. There's nothing worse than second guessing everything you do, wondering what you've done wrong or what you've done to deserve the bad things that are happening to you.

This breaks girl code everywhere. Kudos to Erin for fighting her way back to controlling her life. I'm glad she didn't let this guy break her or make her be afraid or ashamed of her body. It's a pity that someone like Elizabeth Hasselbeck couldn't understand or appreciate that.

Remembering Grandpa

If ever I doubted that family is more defined by love than by blood, all I would have to do is think back and remember Grandma & Grandpa Plass. It's taken me a while to write this because I really wasn't sure what to say. It didn't seem so very long ago when I donned my leopard print dress, a tribute to grandma, and said my last goodbyes to her...singing for her one last time. And somehow that day Chris and I had a feeling that Grandpa was listening, appreciating, and feeling that he was getting a preview of what his memorial was going to be like.

Grandma was his "older woman" being that she was 2 years older than he was. She passed away a couple months after they celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. I got to be there to help them....and watched them renew their vows alongside Deb & Steve (Aunt & Uncle) and Mom & Kurt. It meant so much to be included in everything.

Even though we came into the Plasses lives as teenagers, they all welcomed us with open arms. Grandpa was always the calm, gentle soul...caring and always willing to talk or listen and support. Grandma was the fiery one...full of laughter and mischief.

Grandpa had been struggling with heart and respiratory issues for years, but somehow always seemed to come out on top. A few years ago he was even taking physical therapy to improve his strength. On Christmas '08 Mom & Kurt came down for Christmas and found out that Grandpa was on hospice. But still he was cheerful and upbeat. He stuck around to hold his great granddaughter, Camille, in his arms.... and to be able to see the photos of my wedding.

Although Grandpa was 94 when he finally answered his call to come home to Jesus, having been on hospice for a year, we should have been expecting it. But still, getting the call from my mom in January telling me that he was finally gone...it still shocked and saddened and hurt. I loved Grandpa. And I will always miss him. It was MY honor to be a part of his family.

The memorial is set for May. Chris, Mom and I will sing...and honor a man who knew what it meant to love his family...