Me, Mom and The Project

My Mom was in town for nearly two weeks...and left at the beginning of May. We have one of those typically tempestuous mother/daughter relationships. I love and respect her. She's someone I really look up to. Despite all that, putting the two of us in the same room for more than a couple hours at a time usually ends with an argument or a fight.

This last visit, for the first time, we spent 5 days together hanging out. And a miracle happened. We didn't fight. Not once. In fact, we had fun together. The first day was spent getting our nails done. The second included shopping for clothes...and also winding up in Home Depot's garden center where she proceeded to buy me fruit trees and fertilizer for my back yard. The third time out, we went to church together up in Sarasota. The fourth trip included buying shrubs for the front yard, mulch, landscaping sheets and more fertilizer...and then putting them into the ground. The last trip included another trip to Home Depot for more gardenias, more mulch, an edger...and then renting a roto-tiller.

We got all the plants in the ground but six gardenias. We got the first corner of my yard mulched...and that was pretty much it. But I promised my mom that I'd work on finishing the landscaping of my yard...especially since she paid for it. So, after today, here's where I am with the project.

We put up some gardenias, some hibiscus, jasmine and another vining red flower. I was actually very proud that I was able to get all the way across the house with the mulch and stuff...and put the last 6 gardenias in the ground.

All I have left to finish is mulching the last corner edge...and mulch the back yard...as well as put up the mesh fence around my veggie/herb garden.

In the back yard I now have a mango tree, two kinds of lemon trees and an orange tree to go with my three oaks. I've also got a mini-produce garden that includes tomatoes, thyme, rosemary, oregano and basil. I'm stoked because my lemon tree has a couple of fruit growing already...and my tomato plant already has about three tomatoes growing on them!




This has been seriously hard work, but completely worth it!!! You know, it was awesome that my mom paid for all of this...but I think the part that meant the most to me was taking on this project and doing it with her. It's been a long time since we've done something like this together. It meant a lot to me.

The Bittersweet

I'm finally thinking about getting married. I guess I'm starting to grow up. Kirk and I are seriously discussing things and finalizing plans. I've even discussed things with my mom and my sister.

I'm excited about the planning and the thinking things out...and considering budgets. We've decided to go back home to Chicago to get married. It'll be September...the only question is whether to do it in '09 or '10.

And yet there's this ominous cloud that's been weighing on me. I would so love to invite one of my closest childhood friends...and one of my mom's closest friends. The problem is that she's married to the man that abused me. And he's also the father of my childhood friend. If I were to invite them I have the very real concern of having this man who I want no where near me to be at the wedding. That day should be a day of happiness and rejoicing...and I refuse to have it marred by the presense of that man.

The downside is that it means I won't be able to invite any of the Filipinos because I don't want anyone hurt or rumors flying. I'll miss the Filipinos at my wedding, but it's for the best.

If that's the only fly in the ointment so far, though, we're off to a pretty good start.