The Character Issue

As I sat there today watching the NFL draft I found myself shaking my head. Some people just don't get it. Every day I live my life trying live up to my core values. Core values, you ask? Yes, core values. Everything goes to the basic principals of integrity, honesty, respect...both for yourself and those around you, and ownership. Let's face it...everyone's human. This means we ALL make mistakes. It's what we do with those mistakes that determines the person we look at in the mirror. And I'm not "preaching" on "moral fiber" or anything like that...I wouldn't presume. I'm just saying that everyone has their own internal code of ethics...and with decisions come consequences.

For the last few weeks going into the draft we've been hearing a lot on sports radio about the character v. talent debate. To me, the decision is simple. Everyone deserves a second chance...absolutely. But you have to earn the trust back before someone should be expected to step out on that limb for you and place their faith in you. This was part of the reason I was so apprehensive about the Cowboys taking T.O. from the Eagles this last off-season.

But I digress....

There I was watching T.V. and the commentators were talking about draft picks that were remaining...and Marcus Vick's name comes up. Mind you this is a guy who's been struggling with legal issues from the get-go. And it's not like they're minor ones. His charges run the gamut from contributing to the delinquency of a minor (to which he plead no contest) to driving on a suspended license to the carrying of a concealed weapon. And then there's the marijuana. These aren't little things. It's understandable that he hadn't been picked yet.

So they gave him the chance to say his piece. He was given an interview to discuss his past, to ask about his future, and to explain the impact a famous older brother (Michael Vick) may have had in the impacts it's made on him. Basically, he got the chance to talk about what he learned from all these experiences. It was his opportunity to possibly win back trust and show maturity.

He. blew. it. BIGTIME!

As I listened to his words I was overcome by the feeling that this guy had a humongous sense of entitlement simply because of who his brother is in the league. And then there was the lack of ownership and responsibility. When asked about the character issues he stated that he understood the owners' concerns regarding him...and that if it hadn't been for any of his problems he would've been a first round pick. First, he's never been THAT good. Second, his problems weren't something as simple as a C in a class. They were much more serious. Again, when asked how he felt he stated that he'd had bad luck and that with all the things happening to him (because apparently the gun jumped into his hand, and he was sleep driving--yeah, you can insert sarcasm here) he felt like he must have broken a few mirrors as a child or something. He never once owned his actions or said he made a mistake. And then he minimized what he said when asked what it was like to be Mike Vick's younger brother. He said that although he loves his brother, the spotlight cast on his brother caused his actions to be amplified...because they were only little things. So he was asked if he felt he had anything in common with Maurice Clarett...to which he answered he didn't feel he had anything in common with Maurice...because HE (Maurice) had done some serious stuff. And he said it straight faced. Pot calling kettle black much?

He did not take ownership for any of his own actions. It was always bad luck or someone else's fault or not as bad as things sound. It was never about him. It was never his fault. Yeah, That's a guy I'm gonna want to invest millions of dollars. I have zero respect for people like this. Perpetual victims in life. Never owning anything. Never taking ownership of their mistakes. And whether they realize it or not? It goes a long way to saying whether or not you're worthy of a second chance. No amount of talent is going to be worth the headaches, the drama, or the loss of investment should he run into legal issues again. This one's black and white...if it's illegal, don't do it.

I hope no one gives him a draft pick. He's gonna need to earn his way back in. It's not going to be worth the long term investment and money loss. No amount of talent makes it okay for a person to break the law...or rewards it with a large NFL contract. You earn the right to come to the show. You need the character and integrity every bit as much as you the talent to play ball. He would've gone a long way if he'd have said he'd learned from his mistakes and adjusted himself otherwise. Then at least he'd show a contriteness...and growth. But until that time, may he never see the light of the NFL.

Mr Right Now?

I'm seriously infatuated. There, I've said it. Why is that so hard for me to admit? Probably because I'm always the one doling out the advice and warning people about falling too hard, too fast. And I haven't even met him face to face yet, this Texas Cowboy who's captured my attention.

But....

He makes me laugh.

Me: It's strange, I hardly know you, and yet I'm gonna miss you while you're gone.

Him: I know, Darlin'. But it won't be forever.

Me: I know that, too. Gawd, I love your accent.

Him: Thank you.

Me (laughing): I like the way you call me Darlin'. Say darlin' again.

Him: Darlin' again.

Me: Smartass.

We really do have the same kind of sense of humor...and there's no topic that's taboo. I love it. And then there's our dirty minds....

Me: I don't put out on the first date.

Him: Neither do I, so I hope to GOD you're gonna be staying for more than one day.

And usually I try to steer clear of getting emotionally involved in anything deeper than friendship with men in the military men.

So here I am, throwing my own advice out the window...

Florida Drivers

I'm shaking right now. Seriously. And I'm not a shaky person by nature. I'm as solid as they come. It's probably the reason my friends depend on me so much.

But today has been different. I've been up since 6am. One of my employees was working on this small business deal and needed me to pick up some merchandise for him from Sarasota. Not that big a deal, right? A forty-five minute drive, pick up some stuff, stop off at Starbucks and head back home to prep for my work day.

As I'm heading home, I'm stopped at a light on Clark Rd. One of my other employees calls to ask me a question...I'm at a light so I figure...pick it up. I'm talking to her for a few seconds when...BAM!!! I was rear ended. I tell her I'll have to call her back, pull my car around to the side street so as not to block traffic. The Mustang makes no attempt to move over...so I think, okay, maybe he's having car problem...or maybe he really doesn't know how to drive his vehicle...afterall, when he hit me it felt and sounded like he was new to stick shift and he popped his clutch. There was no damage to my car, so I figured when he pulled over I'd let him know everything was fine. I walk around toward his car...he sees me walking towards him...He peals out and takes off.

My first official hit-and-run! Gotta love Florida Drivers.

Feedback Welcome

Okay, I walked into the house the other day and Kirk looks at me and says...you're never gonna believe this...then proceeds to ask for my advice. Those of you who know me personally know just how brutally, bluntly honest I can be and that it's been both a blessing and a curse.

So here's the background on the situation. Kirk's brother has been married for a few years now. He's been going to pharmacy school to better himself and he's been working full time the entire time. His wife is a bit insecure which, in turn, causes her to be controlling. The last time they came to Florida was with her family. They were only about 3 hours from where we live. Gary contacted Kirk with possibly getting together. She nixed that stating that they were on vacation with HER family and wouldn't have time for Gary to meet Kirk or hang out...even for part of a day.

So Gary's getting ready to graduate from Pharmacy school...finally. The class wants to take a class trip to an area near Panama Beach. Gary included. Her response to that was hell no, he's not allowed...followed by..."If you go on this vacation, you'll be returning home to packed bags and locks being changed on the door...and I'm filing for divorce." Over a little vacation. Apparently, even though she's never been given any provocation, she doesn't trust him.

If it were you...and you were given this ultimatum...what would you do?

I can tell you what I'd do....I'd be righteously angry first. I don't take ultimatums well. Furthermore, if I've never given you a reason to mistrust me, I'd be severely affronted...because a relationship should be built on trust.

If it were me? I would go. Because for a marriage to work out...and this is just my opinion...and maybe why I'm not married... there has to be mutual trust and respect. Without that...why bother?

So the coolest thing happened...

In the midst of all my worries about corparte visits and employee illnesses and vacations and trainings and meetings, I'd decompress on myspace. It's been great because I've run into old friends from high school and stuff. It was pretty cool and distracting, so I was having fun.

But this weekend, something extraordinary happened. I was checking out a site to a neighboring highschool in the area I grew up... I had a lot of friends at this place because I went to one of their feeder elementary schools and Jr Highs. And while I was there I found...None other than one of my brother Jonathan's best friends!

I don't know if anyone can truly appreciate what this meant to me. Or to him. This kid was WITH my brother the day of his accident. His dad was an EMT and put out a distress call to fellow EMT's and Police Officers for extra help to get my brother's ambulance through traffic during rush hour traffic. His family saw our family through one of the hardest times in our lives. And we lost touch. Until I saw his picture on myspace. He looked exactly the same...except older.

And even though I can never bring my brother back...death being final and everything. Running into this guy and seeing that he's okay put a smile on my face and in my heart. For a minute it felt like I had my brother back.

Here's my myspace link for anyone interested.http://www.myspace.com/prrr4mepls

Just When You Think

life's getting back to normal...

Normal gets thrown out the window.

Heck, the holidays are over. Life should be slowing down for me this month. I was looking forward to it. I should have known better. More importantly...if ever there comes a time when I think my life is worse than someone else's...intervention tends to give you a reality check. And in that moment, you realize...your life isn't so bad.

I've been sick...with that gawdawful nasty virus/flu/cold thingie that's been going around and taking people weeks to recover from. I felt pretty miserable. I called in for the first time in my career with the company I work for. I had virtually no voice. My sides, back and stomach were sore from all the coughing. Sleeping through the night was not an option...I'd wake myself up with the racking coughs. Sounds pretty awful, right?

And along came Anthony. I call him A1 because I have two of them...both Anthonys...both last names start with C's. He's one of my new employees. I'd sent him off to training in Miami. The first week went great! He came back excited and looking forward to his final week of training because it meant he could finally work on the floor. He was learning. It was thrilling to see. So when my phone rang in the middle of the day on Tuesday, the last thing I expected to hear was that my new 23 year old employee was in the emergency room...taken there personally by the trainer. Apparently he was experiencing chest pains, sharp head pains, nausea, dizziness...and with that, whenever the pain would strike...he'd lose his power of speech. He'd start slurring his words, stuttering, not making sense. Hearing the symptoms I wondered silently...stroke? Tumor? Unknown heart condition? And then the trainer said that one of the people there suspected a vascular migraine. He had a couple of tests...all came back good. But with his symptoms they wanted to keep him over night for observation. And they wanted to do a spinal tap. But by 5 o'clock, even that thought had changed. They'd admitted him to Intensive Care...because they noticed that everytime he had an onset of the head pains...his speech would go. They did the spinal tap, EKG's, MRI's, Brain scans...all came back good.

A week later they discharged my frustrated employee...no more knowledgeable about what happened than they were before. But with migraine meds and a lot of rest, the pain was going away. Or so everyone thought. Anthony was thrilled to be home. The hospital he'd been at had virtually no one but doctors and patients that spoke English...not even his nurses could easily communicate with him. He had to call his trainer if he wanted to know what was going on with his care. But he finally made it back home. He thought he was feeling stronger. Till yesterday. The pains were still happening. He's been afraid, and who could blame him! So he went to the Emergency room. And bingo...without the language barrier, and after more probing, something was finally figured out. First, he has low blood pressure...which is concern enough. But secondly, they noticed that while sitting or laying down, he was fine. But if he got up and walked a few feet his resting heart rate of 70 would jump up to over 110. Not at all normal. But now they've got him on some meds...and we've got a starting point.

And if that's not enough, I also spent yesterday talking to a broken hearted young lady...Tiffany...who found out that her husband doesn't want to stay and fight and work things out. He wants a divorce. She's devastated. And she's now questioning her entire self worth. At 21. He was her Jr. High sweetheart...and they'd had the fairytale wedding. Now she's just sad. And she's scared. And she's never really been completely alone. Yeah, she's heart broken.

And if I thought my problems of the moment were bad...all I have to do is look around me...and realize that this too shall pass.

Frustrated

Is it so outrageous for me to expect competence out of people? I swear...I don't know what's happened to the world when it comes to work ethic these days. Lately I feel that I can say something ten different ways...till I'm blue in the face and only 1 out of 4 implements. If I'm lucky, sometimes that number climbs up to 2. It's frustrating. I feel like a lab mouse trapped in a wheel. And when you confront someone? They're suddenly blind, deaf, and/or dumb.

I've had it. People thought I was a hardass before? Tough love is coming out. And the fact that it's Valentines day matters very little to me at this moment. Why can't these people see that I have their best interests at heart? That when I ask, then tell, then yell...it's to help better them. To aid in their careers. I don't ask for my health.

And then there's simple organization and responsibility. I just got a call from a rep that was sent off for a week's training...he told me that the hotel was refusing to check him in because he didn't have a credit card. The person who was supposed to book him at the hotel and fax the credit card apparently fell down on the job and didn't do the second half of the assignment. So here this kid is...3 hours from home...stranded...and the only thing I can tell him is to call his supervisor. What a great impression of his boss that must leave. When I get a hold of this guy, he's gonna be hurting. It was bad enough I had to call him yesterday to remind him AGAIN to book the hotel to begin with.

Okay...I'm breathing again... And taking my own advice...Control my controllables.

Did I mention that my pal Crystal and her daughter Hannah sent me some chocolates and a valentine from Germany? That's enough to make me smile...

Hall Of Fame

The new inductees into the NFL hall of fame were announced today. John Madden finally made it in. I felt he deserved it. I was thrilled for Troy Aikman...he got in, as did another Cowboy...Rayfield Wright. Very good day for those guys. I was bummed to hear that Michael Irvin was once again rejected. I know it had a lot to do with his tumultuous history. It's tough, because he deserves to be there if we were going strictly off football talent, skill, and contributions. I mean, c'mon! They let L.T. (Lawerence Taylor for non-football fans) in, and his out of work indiscretions were so much worse!

The kicker of all this is that although I knew it was coming, Reggie White made it in, too. I heard this and rolled my eyes. Hey, if it was strictly for contributions to football...He definitely deserves to be recognized... But he wasn't exactly perfect, either. I've always abhorred the fact that he preached racism when he had a perfect opportunity both as a reverend and a rolemodel to preach acceptance and tolerance.

I've seen his speeches given in Tennessee. I've read the content. I had friends living in the area at the time who expressed their shock and dismay. But hey, he's got two things going for him...one, he's passed on. And two...apparently, it's only considered racism if you preach hate and you're white. At least that's the message I got. Harsh, I know...But I expect more of someone who has reverend attached to their name...and who claims to live their life by the Bible.

And as a sidebar...YES, I do know what it's like to have your race held against you. The first time I experienced it I was 7 years old... Regardless, people have a choice. I just don't see hate as a viable option. And Yes, I lose respect for people who choose to live their life by encouraging it.

Boys, Boys, Boys!

I was talking to Maria and Steph on the phone just a few minutes ago. Maria took a quick trip to visit Steph in Texas.

I know there's been some concern for me lately because I've been burning my candle at both ends. Just like any good workaholic overachiever. I know what I am. I've come to terms for it. I'm a perfectionist, a bit dominant in just about every aspect of my life and uber focused on success. My biggest flaw is probably my fear of failure/control freak issues. I demand a lot, but no less than I'm willing to bring to the table.

I work hard, play harder. Unfortunately, the amount of time playing is limited by the amount of time my job requires. I know I've got a reputation for being a bit of a flirt... One of my friends calls me a "playa'". Apparently, "Shorty got game"...LOL! So yeah, I'm used to being teased about the guy-girl ratio around me.

So tonight, while I'm talking to Maria, she asks how I'll be spending my evening. I told her that I'd spent my day doing manual labor (a rare thing, indeed) sloughing the pool and cleaning down the deck and the pool cover and that we planned on barbecuing tonight. With Kirk and the neighbor guys. They heard the odds were three boys to me...and started laughing and joking about how I liked those odds. Gotta admit, I was amused.

Here's the only problem... These guys? Not so much my type. They're more like brothers to me. I mean, let's look at the cast of characters. There's Kirk...I used to be involved with him until we figured out that although we love eachother, we're not IN love with each other. Then there's Mike....Except for the fact that he's 29, I swear that the 40 Yr Old Virgin was written for him. And Ben...well, Ben's Ben. He's my buddy, we may joke about things like giving head while driving, and I may know most details about his sex life...but I'm also the girl who gave him advice on how to help his first love get the big "O" from more than just Oral. Makes it tough to consider anything.

But, this week has been full of prospects.

Patrick- of the hot, sexy tattoo's Patrick. Who teaches gymnastics in his spare time. With perfect teeth...who likes to text dirty with me, who trades saucy pics back and forth via camera phone, who gives great hugs...and who's over 5 years younger. He texted me last night and this morning. We'll be making plans to hang out.

Patrick-of the Lauderdale Patrick. Closest thing I've probably had to a boyfriend in the last few years. Gets me like no one else. And accepts me just the way I am. Calls me Goddess. I'll be seeing him in a week. Also a younger man.

Louis-of the bangin' bodies Louis. Called me last week to tell me he went out of town and brought me back something. Half Italian, Half Puerto Rican. He's a laborer...and it shows. Jared's already warned me to "tap that" or he's gonna try. He wants to hang out the moment I have time.

I think I'm gonna need to free up some time on my schedule.

Another Quiz

Men See You As Desirable

Men often find you immediately attractive and sensualYou're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys inYou are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggagePacking light means you enjoy new relationships easily

How Do Men See You?

Isn't It Ironic...Don'tcha Think?

You Are Catwoman

"Life's a bitch. Now so am I."

What Superheroine Are You?

Wannabe's

A guy I've been chatting with for a while online said something today. I was surprised at how much it got my back up.

I don't claim to be a musician. I am a pretty big audiofile, though. The conversation went something like this:

Him: What are you up to?

Me: I'm ripping a few CD's to my computer library.

Him: What kind?

Me: I'm in a bluesy place right now...so it's BB King, Boz Skaggs, and a few others. Do you like the blues?

Him: Not really, the music just didn't touch me. The only thing about the blues I like is the guitar.

Me: That's right, you play, right?

Him: Yes. Right now I'm really moved by U2.

Me: Ah, so do you like Clapton?

Him: No, I think Clapton's overrated and a bit inflated, not to mention overplayed. Especially after Tears In Heaven.

Me: ::thud::

Him: And don't get me started on Layla...both versions...they make me want to slit someone's throats. He's REALLY not THAT good.

Me: What about his work with Cream?

Him: I've heard of them, but I don't really know much about them...just that they weren't all that and he's a hack.

And did I mention this guy considers himself an amateur musician...specializing in guitar? I was floored. He told me that Cream wasn't even classic rock...because he listens to A station...that's right...ONE station...and he doesn't know if he's ever heard their music, so it must not be THAT good. I mean, classic rock is "Stairway To Heaven" by Zeppelin or "Sweet Home Alabama" by Skynyrd.

And so I did what any self respecting fan of classic rock would do. I banged my head into a wall. He "appreciates" Hendrix...He gives the nod to BB King. He HATES Stevie Ray Vaughn because he thinks he's got a terrible voice. And he thinks Clapton is a Hack. I didn't even bother to ask him if he'd heard of Rush for fear of his answer. Apparently his current hero is Bono and U2. When he asked if he'd lost brownie points, I just stated I thought we were even because I've always felt Bono was a bit over inflated on the ego and that U2's music was a bit plain and redundant. Which is my honest opinion. This guy is sorely undereducated in a field he claims interest in breaking into. Not to mention awfully narrow in his vision. All I could say was....WOW!

He then said that if we were to walk out and ask 20 random people he doubted any of them could mention 1 Cream song, much less 3. I didn't have the heart to tell him what a good friend pointed out...it's highly unlikely 20 random people could even tell you who the Vice-President is, so it's not much of a gauge.

Oh, and did I mention this guy has been looking for a way to meet me? Should I have mentioned how "Wonderful, Tonight" is a HUGE soft spot of mine, and guaranteed to make me melt just a bit? Too bad he's not a fan. ;-)

The Easy Questions

I recently received one of those fun little surveys from my cousin. You know the kind...the ones that ask...your favorite article of clothing, your dream vacation spot, your favorite season...

In that survey, one question stood out to me. "What super power would you most like to have?" Simple as that sounds, it actually made me stop and think. In the past I'd probably have put something like...strength or the power to read minds...maybe even the power to become invisible. As I grow older, I've noticed, my responsibilities change causing a shift in what I need to be effective as a friend, a person, an employee as well as an employer.

And as I sat there thinking about what super power I wanted, my attention span shifted. Maybe it was the vibrating phones on my hip (and no, the pleural was not a typo)...maybe it was the 60 emails since the last time I cleared my email box for work...a day ago. Maybe it was thinking about my new employee and all the processes I need to get started for him to do his new hire. Or the three new supervisors I'm trying to ease into their new roles. Then again it could be my employee with the workers comp injury. Or the supervisor who's father dying right before Christmas spawned a trip to Greece. Or the employees that called out sick or the other one who's grandmother became gravely ill in NY before dying. And as I sat there thinking about this...it dawned on me. I had my answer!

If I could have any super power in the world, I'd want the ability to duplicate myself so that I could be in all the places I'm needed at the same time and still know what's going on in every place I'm at.

It was when I found myself driving into oncoming traffic (not to worry, I'm okay and so is my car...thankfully) that I realized....I need a break. I've been burning my candle at both ends. I've never done anything like that...and I wasn't on my phone. The radio in the car wasn't even on. It was just... fatigue...and maybe fighting becoming sick...and a headache. All I know is I need some rest. I was approved to cut my day short after THAT incident.

I'm so thankful for weekends. Maybe now I'll be able to recharge. I'm even going to attempt to shorten my cell phone usage. Quit laughing. I can try. Maybe it'll even work.

Moving On

With the new year, I've decided to cut some of the "dead weight" out of my life. You know the type...the ones who suck the energy out of you like a leech. They're the ones who take with no regard to how much it may drain you to give....and then when you need them, they become magicians and simply disappear.

I had one of these friends. To make things worse, he was also a colleague....well, still is. Now I know this guy is spoiled, with no real social skills to speak of. But I'd been THERE for him, you know? I guess the best way to explain it is to describe him. Chris is a guy who's gotten everything he wants. If he can't afford it, he just places a call to Daddy...and yes, he calls him Daddy. And if that doesn't work, he calls his crazy mom.

A couple of years ago, when I met him, Chris was driving an Impala...With over $500 payments. How could the payments be so high, you ask? Well, when Chris was 16 he was given a Kia...which he traded in early...at about 18 for a Cavalier. After having the Cavalier for a little over a month, he decided he didn't like it anymore and traded it for the Impala...which left him backwards on payments. He just turned 21 and he recently traded in for a Trailblazer...fully loaded...so now his payments are pretty astronomical. It's a good thing he still lives at home.

Then there was his first apartment...Daddy co-signed & put up the requisite first and last month's rent. So he stayed in his new apartment 2 weeks, decided it wasn't for him and moved back home. And it was okay that daddy lost the entire deposit.

Anyway, this is a guy who has moments of kindness...but who mostly just takes advantage. Most recently, his victim has been me. Those of you who know me know that I got promoted. This promotion made me beyond busy as I'm now responsible for 4 store locations. I also believe in team play, though. So when Chris came to me right before holiday season because he was short staffed 3 people in his location...and asked me to interview candidates for him (he's not certified) I said yes. And then spent my November and December running my 4 locations, training my 3 brand new supervisors, putting out my fires, and interviewing HIS potential new hires. Then there were the questions...his guys had them...they'd call me...and I'd help out. When he wasn't feeling well, I even helped cover his location for an evening. I loaned him my laptop. I even found time to introduce him to a guy I thought he might be interested in.

So the time came when I needed something from him...well, not even FROM HIM! I needed 15 minutes of time from one of his employees who's extraordinarily talented with computers. And the time could have easily been spared. My response was a text message from him stating that his employee couldn't be spared...because he had to go to their offsite storage to clean it and wouldn't have the time.

That's the LAST TIME I do this guy any favors. And ya know what? I'm kinda vindictive sometimes. I'm having a party for my team...of which he's not...and in the past I would've invited him...but not this time. Although I am inviting one of his employees...and I know at least another one of his employees who will be going because he's married to one of mine. I know he'll hear about it. And right now? In the words of Rhett Butler..."Frankly, My Dear, I don't give a damn."

*** Oh, and on a side note...I got a Christmas card from my dad...2 days ago! Ya know what? It didn't even bother me. It's been the least of my worries, and at least he called 2 days after Christmas to tell me his card would be late....I guess he didn't think I'd realize Christmas was already gone...LOL!

An Update

So the guys from the store called the cops about the junk they found on that computer. They waited till the customer came to pick up his computer and then handed it to him. He looked at the thing and asked about the missing hard drive. When they notified him that the police had come and confiscated it, he acted nonchalant.

As the matter of fact, he got this sick, demented smile on his face and just said, "Oh, Really?" He then requested the case number. As if finding child porn is an everyday thing.

It's enough to turn the stomach. I hope he gets what he deserves.

And as for the employees...apparently there was a fear they might take their plight to Oprah if they were fired...so they were allowed to keep their jobs.

Unsung Heroes

What is wrong with society today? I know I leave myself wide open when I ask questions like that. Right now I simply don't care. Why is it that so many things are ass backwards in society today? A guy walks in to a local electronics store...asks them to clean his computer. As the computer tech turns on the computer, she's smacked in the face with images best left unseen. Images of a young girl. Disturbing images. Now scarred in her head. Imprinted in her mind for all eternity. They left her in tears and without any composure for a few minutes. When she could think again she communicated what happened through the proper channels hoping to help this young girl somehow. Based on the images she was only in her early teens. These "channels" processed the info straight up to their legal department. And then the answer came down...

"No. You may not notify the authorities. We signed an agreement stating we would not be looking into his files. That they were personal & confidential. So despite how disturbing what you found is...you may not pursue it. Failure to adhere to our decision will result in termination."

Hmmmmm....Lemme think about this one. Protecting the children of this society or lose your job. Tough one, I know. Geez! Have we really become so fearful of lawsuits and jaded that we're afraid to act when a cry for help comes up? I mean this girl was being held down in some of the pictures. Just hearing about it disturbed me. I can imagine what it did to her. Not to mention her co-workers who caught wind of the situation. I'm sorry, but there's the right thing and then there's THE RIGHT THING!!!! And when something reaches out into your soul and screams for justice? How can you not follow? How could you live with yourself if you turned away from that voice? And yet that's what she was ordered to do. Because big business is afraid of a little confrontation.

I cheered (even as my heart broke for this young girl) when I heard that several people from there...against company policy...took a stand and made some calls. Children are the heart of this community. They deserve to be protected. Society would be a much better place if we spent more time taking care of our youth and less time in frivolous law suits. And maybe, just maybe...if we changed our outlook...our world would be better.

Good for this employee and the others involved for calling the police despite the consequences. They're heroes in my book. Most of you who read this know just how close to home this hits for me.

Christmas Eve Souvenirs

Ah, the beauty of speculation is that you get to hear some pretty outlandish and farfetched things. So Christmas day, a couple of friends came to my front door and saw a bandaid on my forehead. They asked if I was okay...I made them promise not to laugh and exposed...this!!!

After a couple of giggles, there were the questions...

"What happened?"

"What did you do?"

And while I debated whether or not to tell them...they started to guess. Here's the speculation I heard:

"Curling Iron Burn?"

"Rug burn?"

"Kinky sex?"

Yeah, you guessed it, I've got some filthy minded friends.

The truth about the injury? I did something stupid. I was hanging out in my pool Christmas eve night. It was 60 degrees out, but it was almost 90 degrees in the pool. We turned on the pool light...made it green to be festive for the holiday. I was messing around doing laps and stuff. I decided it might be a fun idea to try to move my body like a fish under water and see how far across the pool I could get before I needed oxygen. So I closed my eyes (I'd left my contacts in) and piked down....and....SMACK!!!! Right on the bottom of the pool. Apparently I'd misjudged the depth and went about 4' down into a 3 1/2 foot area. Man, did that sting. Yes, yes, I gave myself a concussion for Christmas eve. No doctors visit required, thankfully.

No, I had not been drinking any alcohol, more's the pity.

And yes, I'm the same girl who can manage to trip over bottled water.

I can't help but laugh...and fortunately for me, everyone around me is also amused.

Strong Shoulders

I got a call a little while ago. Patrick told me that he had some news. His father hasn't been feeling very well since after the last hurricane. Apparently his dad went in to the doctor for some x-rays and they finally got the results. His dad has pleural mesothelioma.

Patrick is someone who's close to me. He's the one guy who always seems to know what I'm not saying. The guy who's a great friend...and more. He's one of those rare guys...one that watches, observes, understands what isn't said as well as what is. He's not afraid to call me on my stuff, and he loves that I'm a strong individual...it's part of my appeal to him.

So when I got this sense a couple nights ago that I should call him, I followed my instincts. He said everything was okay, but that feeling stayed with me. I told him that if he needed or wanted me to call.

So he did. Today. Because they finally have something difinitive about his dad. His dad's condition went undiagnosed for months by a nurse practitioner. He had a negligent family doctor who was never in office and never saw him. When he was finally diagnosed it was because he went to the hospital again and a surgeon was called in on the consult. And when he went to schedule an appointment with the doctor to get the referrals he needed to see the specialist, they put him off, the doctor never called back, and finally said that he could be scheduled almost a month out....mind you this was for a tentative diagnosis of cancer.

They wound up having to call the surgeon again. He lit a fire under the GP who then finally returned the call and got him in for an emergency visit that same day. After his dad's lung biopsy, Patrick told me that the surgeon saw some signs of advanced stages of the disease, so they're gonna work hard and fast to get them an idea of what kind of treatment plan he'll need to undergo...or if he's in end stage.

Patrick's trying to be strong for his family right now. He's laughing, or he'd probably wind up breaking down and crying. So I reminded him again...I'm here. Always. For him. When he can't be strong anymore, he's got me to lean on... It's strange how even miles away...I knew he needed me.

Thrilling

I'm so excited for one of my oldest and closest friends! Recently she called me up to tell me some stellar news.

She's having a baby!

Now I know some would say that this is a normal everyday occurrence in life. And you'd be right. But for her, this has been a challenge.

She was diagnosed with endometriosis at a very young age. She was put on birth control before she was even all that interested in sex. She's had two surgeries. She'd also seen a fertility specialist. There had been a few false alarms and scares, but it was starting to look like having a baby just wasn't in the cards for her.

She'd all but reconciled herself to being the best auntie ever to her niece and nephew.

So imagine my shock a week or so ago when she called me at 8am to tell me the good news! In a time when miracles are so scarce, she was blessed with one!

I'm so excited for her! She's gonna make an amazing mother. It's enough to make me consider setting my biological clock...almost. Nah! I think I'll just hold out for a puppy for now. Love kids as I do, I just wouldn't have the time that should be dedicated for a child. I can be a proud Auntie, though!

The Hag

Work has been crazy and stressful lately. Added to the insanity that is retail during holiday season is the new promotion...I'm grateful, don't misunderstand. But I'm also responsible for 4 locations. That's a lot of people.

So last Friday I was taking one of my assistant managers around my new location group (not thrilled with the name, btw...D.A.D. Manager is my new title). Along with the holiday comes much micro-managing from the higher ups. There's all the panic and chaos associated with corporate visits, etc. So I'd gotten a visit, a call, and an email about one of my locations all in one day. And it wasn't very fun. By the end of the day my assistant and I decided we needed to relax somewhere friendly that served liquid libations.

Mike met us at Chili's...afterall, it's happy hour...all the time! The three of us planned on having a drink or two. My assistant was gonna have a couple beers then head home. I started with Long Islands... Mike followed my lead. Jared headed out after he finished brown nosing to the mucky mucks who were having drinks at Ruby Tuesdays...(I was invited, figured it would be career suicide as I'm honest sober; drunk- I'm painfully so...and I was feeling the urge to tear their throats out and step on them at the time).

The one or two drinks somehow multiplied into 5 or 6. It had been a while since I'd had the time to simply cut loose and have fun and not worry about work. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so the booze went straight to my head. I was feeling good.

We all got a bit silly. I unzipped Jared's pants...he called me a chicken for not doing more (gay men are such teases). He gave me a lap dance. Mike and J had a contest as to who nibbles on a neck better...and mine got to be the lucky neck. Some woman offered to buy me a shot called the "bend me over and lick my ass"...told me it tastes like Cherries...and I had a giggle at the innuendo of it all while Mike whispered to me to take her up on the offer. One of the waitresses tried to get Jared's phone number only to be turned down and told she wasn't his type. Guess she missed Mike and Jared kissing when Jared walked through the door. Or she missed Jared and me kissing, or maybe it was Mike and me kissing that confused her...LOL! Hmmm...come to think of it, maybe I should have been offended that she tried to get his number after she'd seen his lips planted on mine....curious.

I ran into some people I knew inside... Feeling pretty uninhibited, I answered the girl's question about a side bet she and her boyfriend had as to whether or not Jared and Mike were gay...I answered in the affirmative. She asked me to tell them that they were "Hot!" and then told her boyfriend that she was right and all the best looking men were gay (Wonder how that made the boyfriend feel?). Her boyfriend had assumed the boys were straight because they're both very "butch". Somehow this turned into a convo about how I could have a 3 way with the two boys if I wanted...to which one of the guys said...it'd be hot if it were 2 girls instead of two guys...and my drunken diarrhea of the mouth had me replying that I could do that, too...

And the topper for the evening? Standing outside while everyone smoked cigarettes and announcing to my friends...and some random strangers on a bench...that I am the Fag Hag for Charlotte County. To which the stranger on the bench replied..."I LOVE you! You're awesome." Big surprise, he was gay, too. Oh, and his female friend sitting there...yeah, you guessed it...she hit on me.

The worst of it is, I wish I could say that alcohol were the primary contributor, but I can't. Nothing I did that night is anything I wouldn't do sober.