Words That Make You Stop And Think...

"Why do we always assume that the church is only for the people who need it the least?"

These were words spoken by a minister at a church in my area I was checking out last Sunday. It made me pause. He continued talking about the fact that it seems as though when we're most troubled...that's also when we're most likely to turn away from church and God...in shame. He cited examples like someone who'd lost their job feeling embarassed about facing his/her church family. Or someone who recently had surgery, then got addicted to pain meds not coming to church anymore because of their shame. Or a couple in marital trouble not wanting the church to know they were struggling, so they decide not to go. You get the basic idea.

And as I sat in that church pew I knew he was right! When we're struggling or hurt or have fallen down...the people you should be most able to count on to pick you up and help you through should be your family! Not just your biological family, but your spiritual one.

Why is it that instead of bringing our hurts to God, our first instincts are to run and hide, kind of like Eve in the garden? The God I know is a loving God, not a vengeful one. He knows the hurts are there. He waits for you to share them with him so that he can pick you up, kiss the wound and help you move on! Is it because of our stubborn and prideful natures that our emotional wounds take so long to heal? Because we refuse to let him see the cut, clean the wound and mend our hearts? I think maybe it is.

There have been many trying, challenging times in my life. And yet at the crux of some of my weakest moments...that's when I felt he carried me. When Jonathan died, there would be times that hit where I was inconsolable. I didn't think the hurting would ever stop. And yet in those times he sent people into that exact moment of my life...sometimes just to hold me as I cried, sometimes to listen to me talk, sometimes to make me laugh. Other times he gave me someone else who was hurting worse...to remind me to get over myself and that I was needed to be that person for someone else.

And that's just one of the examples of how he's always been there for me...I could list off countless other ones.

So when lately I'd been feeling at loose ends...I started realizing I needed more balance. I hadn't included the most important part of myself in the happiness in my life. I decided that what I needed wasn't just to make time for my physical health, but also my spiritual health.

Starting last week I decided it is time to work on me. So I started exercising daily. Afterall, my body is a temple. So far I've managed to consistently exercise for the last 5 of 6 days. Even better, my decision seems to have spurned Kirk on to join me in my fight to get fit. I came home the other day and he was exercising. Yesterday, because he felt like a cold was coming on, we decided the best exercise for him would be walking. So we put Izzy on her lead and took a 30 minute walk together.

I also realized that I missed my fellowship with other believers and I needed a stronger connection with Him! So I've been doing my daily devotionals every morning. I've also been praying for guidance in my word and deed that He would put the right words into my mouth not only to help build my team, but to also be a reflection of Him. I prayed for guidance and understanding, prayed for my friends who are going through medical and emotional hardships, prayed for my loved ones. And I've been trying to find a church in the area that I like. The church I went to last week is the first one I checked out. I liked what I saw and the words of the minister spoke to my heart. I plan on going back this week.

And it's funny. I'm not really a preachy person, yet it seems lately as though since I've made this decision, I'm more focused, more centered...and have found myself having more opportunity to talk about God and faith. I'm thinking there's a message from God in there, somewhere. Isn't it great that He gives us choices? His message to me is coming across loud and clear...I think it's probably best that I listen.