Different Levels of Torture

Why do women put themselves through it? Is it vanity? Some misguided idea that it makes us more attractive to the opposite sex? That it makes our asses somehow look smaller and our legs look longer? Because we can't possibly be doing it just for ourselves. I swear, it's a great way to torture a person... If this is what they do at P.O.W. camps I'd have been talking inside 15 minutes.

What am I talking about? NEW high heeled shoes, of course! Breaking them in is wicked and cruel...and yet we inflict this on ourselves.

Bought a new pair a couple days ago. They always seem fairly comfortable when you leave the store....after they get the money out of you. Once you own them? They're instruments of pain. I'm sooo not wearing black to work tonight.

The real irony? "My Feet Hurt" is code between me and a couple of my gay friends for "Hot guy, check him out!" As I'm breaking in these new shoes there's much confusion. That's okay, it's revenge for what Jared did to me the day I bought them. I was helping him out at work...walked across the way to the store where I bought the shoes...but not till after I told him where I'd be going.

I came back...he was nowhere to be found. I asked Sarah where he'd went...praying that he was at the back storage unit. She said he'd left to return to the mall across the street. I told her to call him...the call went something like this.

Sarah: "Hey!"
Jared: "What's Up?"
Sarah: "Are you at the mall?"
Jared: "Yeah, lots of stuff to do, boss is whining about making sure everything looks good here."
Sarah: "Did you forget anything?"
Jared: "What are you talking about?"
Sarah: "Do you remember who you drove over here?"
Jared: "Huh?"
Sarah: "Do you remember who you walked in here with?"
Jared: "Oh, Shit! I forgot Kat!"
Sarah: "Uh huh!"
Jared: "Doh! Tell her I'll be there in a few minutes. Crap!"

Me...sitting there...feeling very forgotten and unloved for the moment. But only a moment. Then, I did what any self respecting best friend would do. I called his boyfriend and pimped him out for forgetting me. Oh, yeah. Between Mike and me, he'll never hear the end of it.

Now I don't feel so bad for taking pictures of large women in spandex bent over, cottage cheese and T-back hanging out...and sending it to his camera phone. Revenge is sweet!