Yesterday's Trash

There's a young lady I know. We met at work. We used to be close. Once upon a time. I stood up in her wedding. I threw her bachelorette party. Now....I hardly talk to her. And when I do, I walk away feeling irritated. Everything she says or does feels manipulative. I know she's trying to use me.

She and I used to laugh, a lot. I was a combination big sister, friend, sex therapist...and a bit of innocent flirtation thrown in just for fun. I still remember the first time she asked to join me on lunch. She wanted my advice. Apparently I exude sexual awareness. Because she had some questions to ask me with reference to oral sex and her boyfriend. Made me feel like Dr. Ruth...but I guess the advice worked...LOL! Yeah, I have to laugh about things because otherwise I'll just be sad and disappointed.

She seemed like such a sweet girl. She was a temp with our company for the holidays...working on trying to get her foot in the door. And I went to bat for her to help get her in. And now, 2 years later, I'm removing the dagger from my back and seeing her for who she really is.

As I got closer to Jared, our friendship began to sour. She was jealous. Somehow, she couldn't get it through her head that I was capable of having room in my heart for more than one friend. Initially she was friendly to Jared. He thought she was nice. Till she showed her true colors... Initially I took it for Newlywed Mania. She suddenly didn't do anything but spend time with her hubby and her family. I made allowances. I wasn't upset.

But then I got promoted. And suddenly, now that I wasn't at that location anymore...she became very unkind to Jared. And still she didn't have much time. And I still made allowances. Until I started hearing that she was throwing me under the bus to her current management staff. Always, of course, behind my back. And the only time I heard from her was when she had an interview she wanted help prepping for or when she wanted me to check out a resume or an email she was sending out to her boss or co-workers.

So I hadn't heard from her for months really...

And then I got the news. With my most recent promotion and the management restructuring, I, once again, am in charge of that location...their supervisor will be my direct report. And she's applied for the supervisor position along with a few other people including a couple of co-workers.

So I really shouldn't have been surprised when she called. And I guess I wasn't. But when I was sitting at home last night, IMing with friends and posting on message boards...and I suddenly received an IM from her...after the months of dormancy...yeah, I was a tad surprised.

I swear, she must think I'm the most naive person...and that I'm completely incapable of seeing through her very obvious ploys. She "claimed" that she wasn't IMing me to find out if I'd made a decision. But she asked. And I anticipated that she'd ask. And then suddenly it was all about missing hanging out...a decision SHE made. She told me how she missed our friendship and that she felt like she didn't know how to talk to me anymore. And you know how the whole thing struck me? MANIPULATIVE!!!

This girl is just sooo self involved. It took me longer than usual to notice it because she's kinda quiet and mousy and passive aggressive. And it took till last year to notice it. And I thought maybe it was just a bad week. Last year, after hurricane Charley, lots of people in this area were displaced, homeless, powerless (both literally and figuratively). Her family lost their pool cage and a few shingles. The company we worked for was an integral part of the whole thing. Afterall, we work for a communications company...the only one up during that time. Anyway, we were asked to help out at the emergency call center while our location was closed for business. Our company paid us our hourly salary plus overtime and quota relief. And she was complaining. She felt she should be with her family in "their time of need". I thought it was selfish.

My best friend is ill. He confided in her about his illness. After I left...she made a crack to another employee about being sick of him and his illness and that she found it to be bull crap. Nevermind that it's a legitimate illness and life threatening. So he's been sick a few days. She's gone on multiple vacations, then had a shoulder injury, then a foot injury...both required her to be out for a longer period of time...and they picked up her shifts with no complaint.

After I heard about the comment she made...behind his back, I was sick to my stomach. And I realized that I never really knew her. I was a part of her life as long as I was convenient and I could help her and her career.

When she asked me if I'd want to go shopping with her again for her newest wedding gown (because she's only been married a year, but apparently the wedding was more her mother-in-law's than hers), she thought it would be simple...and another way to "bond" with me since we hadn't spent time together in ages. In my new position, I was forced to turn her down. I don't want anyone misinterpreting my actions or thinking I'm playing favorites. And frankly, it wasn't a hardship. I didn't want to go. When I explained why, she acted hurt...(and I'm sure she was). And then she proceeded to tell me how all that I taught her months ago contributed to the skill she shows at her job now.

She started asking me if I knew anything about filing workers comp papers, etc. Fortunately, I wasn't lying when I said I had no idea. And if I hadn't, I still wouldn't have helped. She hurt her shoulder again. She claims it happened falling on the job. Funny thing about that....the tapes were reviewed...never saw a fall of any kind. It'll be interesting to see what happens there.

So how in the HELL could she...for one second...think that I would offer a supervisor role to someone like this? She went the extra mile in the beginning to get a recommendation to get hired. After that she just acted entitled. She wasn't willing to take on more responsibility, and what responsibility she DID take was all grudgingly taken. Then there's the fact that she's thrown every manager she's had under the bus....including me...the only one who really ever had her back. She isn't even willing to take a full-time position unless it's management because it's easier to make more money if she doesn't. It's like she's afraid of going above and beyond. And she doesn't exactly have the respect of her team. So why would I bother? Why would I go out on a limb and put MY business in her hands? Sorry, I've lost faith and she broke trust. It's done. I'm done.

I hate users. And the worst thing? She doesn't even see how transparent she is. And it's too bad. I'm a pretty good friend. And as a boss....I'm GREAT at getting people promoted.

Oh, well. Her loss. Maybe if she grows up she'll get an opportunity again.