Ah, the beauty of speculation is that you get to hear some pretty outlandish and farfetched things. So Christmas day, a couple of friends came to my front door and saw a bandaid on my forehead. They asked if I was okay...I made them promise not to laugh and exposed...this!!!After a couple of giggles, there were the questions..."What happened?" "What did you do?"And while I debated whether or not to tell them...they started to guess. Here's the speculation I heard:"Curling Iron Burn?"
"Rug burn?"
"Kinky sex?"
Yeah, you guessed it, I've got some filthy minded friends.
The truth about the injury? I did something stupid. I was hanging out in my pool Christmas eve night. It was 60 degrees out, but it was almost 90 degrees in the pool. We turned on the pool light...made it green to be festive for the holiday. I was messing around doing laps and stuff. I decided it might be a fun idea to try to move my body like a fish under water and see how far across the pool I could get before I needed oxygen. So I closed my eyes (I'd left my contacts in) and piked down....and....SMACK!!!! Right on the bottom of the pool. Apparently I'd misjudged the depth and went about 4' down into a 3 1/2 foot area. Man, did that sting. Yes, yes, I gave myself a concussion for Christmas eve. No doctors visit required, thankfully.
No, I had not been drinking any alcohol, more's the pity.
And yes, I'm the same girl who can manage to trip over bottled water.
I can't help but laugh...and fortunately for me, everyone around me is also amused.
I got a call a little while ago. Patrick told me that he had some news. His father hasn't been feeling very well since after the last hurricane. Apparently his dad went in to the doctor for some x-rays and they finally got the results. His dad has pleural mesothelioma.
Patrick is someone who's close to me. He's the one guy who always seems to know what I'm not saying. The guy who's a great friend...and more. He's one of those rare guys...one that watches, observes, understands what isn't said as well as what is. He's not afraid to call me on my stuff, and he loves that I'm a strong individual...it's part of my appeal to him.
So when I got this sense a couple nights ago that I should call him, I followed my instincts. He said everything was okay, but that feeling stayed with me. I told him that if he needed or wanted me to call.
So he did. Today. Because they finally have something difinitive about his dad. His dad's condition went undiagnosed for months by a nurse practitioner. He had a negligent family doctor who was never in office and never saw him. When he was finally diagnosed it was because he went to the hospital again and a surgeon was called in on the consult. And when he went to schedule an appointment with the doctor to get the referrals he needed to see the specialist, they put him off, the doctor never called back, and finally said that he could be scheduled almost a month out....mind you this was for a tentative diagnosis of cancer.
They wound up having to call the surgeon again. He lit a fire under the GP who then finally returned the call and got him in for an emergency visit that same day. After his dad's lung biopsy, Patrick told me that the surgeon saw some signs of advanced stages of the disease, so they're gonna work hard and fast to get them an idea of what kind of treatment plan he'll need to undergo...or if he's in end stage.
Patrick's trying to be strong for his family right now. He's laughing, or he'd probably wind up breaking down and crying. So I reminded him again...I'm here. Always. For him. When he can't be strong anymore, he's got me to lean on... It's strange how even miles away...I knew he needed me.
I'm so excited for one of my oldest and closest friends! Recently she called me up to tell me some stellar news. She's having a baby!Now I know some would say that this is a normal everyday occurrence in life. And you'd be right. But for her, this has been a challenge.She was diagnosed with endometriosis at a very young age. She was put on birth control before she was even all that interested in sex. She's had two surgeries. She'd also seen a fertility specialist. There had been a few false alarms and scares, but it was starting to look like having a baby just wasn't in the cards for her.She'd all but reconciled herself to being the best auntie ever to her niece and nephew.So imagine my shock a week or so ago when she called me at 8am to tell me the good news! In a time when miracles are so scarce, she was blessed with one!I'm so excited for her! She's gonna make an amazing mother. It's enough to make me consider setting my biological clock...almost. Nah! I think I'll just hold out for a puppy for now. Love kids as I do, I just wouldn't have the time that should be dedicated for a child. I can be a proud Auntie, though!
Work has been crazy and stressful lately. Added to the insanity that is retail during holiday season is the new promotion...I'm grateful, don't misunderstand. But I'm also responsible for 4 locations. That's a lot of people.
So last Friday I was taking one of my assistant managers around my new location group (not thrilled with the name, btw...D.A.D. Manager is my new title). Along with the holiday comes much micro-managing from the higher ups. There's all the panic and chaos associated with corporate visits, etc. So I'd gotten a visit, a call, and an email about one of my locations all in one day. And it wasn't very fun. By the end of the day my assistant and I decided we needed to relax somewhere friendly that served liquid libations.
Mike met us at Chili's...afterall, it's happy hour...all the time! The three of us planned on having a drink or two. My assistant was gonna have a couple beers then head home. I started with Long Islands... Mike followed my lead. Jared headed out after he finished brown nosing to the mucky mucks who were having drinks at Ruby Tuesdays...(I was invited, figured it would be career suicide as I'm honest sober; drunk- I'm painfully so...and I was feeling the urge to tear their throats out and step on them at the time).
The one or two drinks somehow multiplied into 5 or 6. It had been a while since I'd had the time to simply cut loose and have fun and not worry about work. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so the booze went straight to my head. I was feeling good.
We all got a bit silly. I unzipped Jared's pants...he called me a chicken for not doing more (gay men are such teases). He gave me a lap dance. Mike and J had a contest as to who nibbles on a neck better...and mine got to be the lucky neck. Some woman offered to buy me a shot called the "bend me over and lick my ass"...told me it tastes like Cherries...and I had a giggle at the innuendo of it all while Mike whispered to me to take her up on the offer. One of the waitresses tried to get Jared's phone number only to be turned down and told she wasn't his type. Guess she missed Mike and Jared kissing when Jared walked through the door. Or she missed Jared and me kissing, or maybe it was Mike and me kissing that confused her...LOL! Hmmm...come to think of it, maybe I should have been offended that she tried to get his number after she'd seen his lips planted on mine....curious.
I ran into some people I knew inside... Feeling pretty uninhibited, I answered the girl's question about a side bet she and her boyfriend had as to whether or not Jared and Mike were gay...I answered in the affirmative. She asked me to tell them that they were "Hot!" and then told her boyfriend that she was right and all the best looking men were gay (Wonder how that made the boyfriend feel?). Her boyfriend had assumed the boys were straight because they're both very "butch". Somehow this turned into a convo about how I could have a 3 way with the two boys if I wanted...to which one of the guys said...it'd be hot if it were 2 girls instead of two guys...and my drunken diarrhea of the mouth had me replying that I could do that, too...
And the topper for the evening? Standing outside while everyone smoked cigarettes and announcing to my friends...and some random strangers on a bench...that I am the Fag Hag for Charlotte County. To which the stranger on the bench replied..."I LOVE you! You're awesome." Big surprise, he was gay, too. Oh, and his female friend sitting there...yeah, you guessed it...she hit on me.
The worst of it is, I wish I could say that alcohol were the primary contributor, but I can't. Nothing I did that night is anything I wouldn't do sober.
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