Rediscovery

I'm so lucky to have the kind of sister I have.  She's one of my best friends.  It wasn't alway that way in our lives, but the older we get, the closer we get.  Thank GOD!  She is often what saves my sanity when things get a little wild around me.

Above is just one of the many examples of the ways she shows her love.  I used to love to write.  I wrote all the time and everywhere.  Rarely would you find me without my journal book.  One year, while I was still in high school, I learned that my cousin was getting married.  I wanted to do something personal and unique for them.  So I wrote a poem.  After that, I hired a caligrapher to put the poem on parchment paper, I bought a lovely frame, and gave it to them as a gift.  The whole family loved the poem so much it became a tradition.  A cousin got married, I put that same poem in a frame and gave it as a gift. 

It had been years since I'd given it away, or even really thought about it.  But my sister, wily maid-of-honor that she was, remembered that poem.  And when Kirk and I got married, she took that poem and did me one better.  She found a place that would create a beautiful unity candle in our wedding colors...and got them to personalize the candle by taking my poem and putting it in the center of the candle. 

The above is a picture of the candle.  And if you can't read the poem, I'll write it below.

Marriage Wish

The beauty of the ocean waves

Crashing to the shore

The beauty of an eagle

As it spreads it's wings to soar

The beauty of a mountain

Reaching for the sky

Will never have the beauty

Of a love that never dies.

The beauty of a friendship

That lasts throughout the years,

The beauty in warm hugs

To dry away tears,

The beauty of a love

That will always be true

Is the beautiful marriage

I wish for both of you.

More recently I lost my job and was feeling at a loss.  My sister calmly told me, I've always thought you should be a writer.  Maybe the next Amanda Bradley.  If you're a Hallmark card fan, you know that Amanda Bradley poetry used to be in some of their best, most heartfelt cards.  I was floored that she felt this way.  She told me that she didn't care what I wrote, but that she'd always known, the same way music was in her soul, writing was in mine. 

She laughed and said that she knew I had a passion for music...couldn't live without it, just like her.  But where she had the drive and dedication to practice songs over and over till they were perfection, she knew that would take some of the joy of music away from me.  I loved it, but wasn't dedicated to it.  Not the way I was to my writing. 

And then she pushed me.  Without my knowledge she signed me up for a membership to the Florida Writer's Association.  I almost deleted the email that let me know I'd joined as I didn't recognize the sender.  Something made me stop and look.  For the first time in a long time I felt that stirring of desire.  I was excited and filled with ideas. 

She was right.  It's time to write.  I grabbed one of my old journal books that was sitting in the closet collecting dust and began.  I thought it was extremely fitting that I wrote my first poem in years while sitting on her patio, enjoying the view of the Chicago skyline, while on a mini-vacation to visit her.

I've also found myself singing again.  It's nothing fancy, just singing with the choir at church, but it's a step to reclaiming my lost passions.  I'm going to be singing a solo within the next few weeks!  I can't believe it.  How did I let my life get so far away from me that I lost the core of who I am?  Never again.  Life is too short to give up what makes you happy for people and companies that probably don't recognize it or appreciate your sacrifices anyway. 

If I have a momentary twinge of regret for all the things I missed...it's natural.  But I have a choice.  I can wallow and feel sorry for myself or I can learn something and move forward.  I choose the latter.  I choose to be happy and live my life to the fullest.