Okay, I walked into the house the other day and Kirk looks at me and says...you're never gonna believe this...then proceeds to ask for my advice. Those of you who know me personally know just how brutally, bluntly honest I can be and that it's been both a blessing and a curse.
So here's the background on the situation. Kirk's brother has been married for a few years now. He's been going to pharmacy school to better himself and he's been working full time the entire time. His wife is a bit insecure which, in turn, causes her to be controlling. The last time they came to Florida was with her family. They were only about 3 hours from where we live. Gary contacted Kirk with possibly getting together. She nixed that stating that they were on vacation with HER family and wouldn't have time for Gary to meet Kirk or hang out...even for part of a day.
So Gary's getting ready to graduate from Pharmacy school...finally. The class wants to take a class trip to an area near Panama Beach. Gary included. Her response to that was hell no, he's not allowed...followed by..."If you go on this vacation, you'll be returning home to packed bags and locks being changed on the door...and I'm filing for divorce." Over a little vacation. Apparently, even though she's never been given any provocation, she doesn't trust him.
If it were you...and you were given this ultimatum...what would you do?
I can tell you what I'd do....I'd be righteously angry first. I don't take ultimatums well. Furthermore, if I've never given you a reason to mistrust me, I'd be severely affronted...because a relationship should be built on trust.
If it were me? I would go. Because for a marriage to work out...and this is just my opinion...and maybe why I'm not married... there has to be mutual trust and respect. Without that...why bother?
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2 comments:
Whoa... huge issue!
I think I would call her bluff as well and just start packing for the trip. Tell her that if the marriage means so little to her, then it probably wasn't much good to begin with. If she IS so insecure, I doubt very much she'd actually up and leave him over it. She's just flexing her muscles (which translates to control).
And I can't even believe she wouldn't allow her husband to spend time with his brother while on vacation. Sheesh!
That's kind of how I felt. I guess they arrived at an understanding. He told her he was most definitely going. And we were right, she backed down. But she added the caveat that they have to go to couples therapy when he gets back.
Man, it must get exhausting yanking at so many strings. I'd make a very bad puppetmaster. Has the woman never heard of self fulfilling prophesies? She keeps it up, he just might give her a reason to mistrust him.
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